the memories bring back, memories bring back you
by Grilled Cheesby
Summary: Sasuke has returned to the past and he wishes he never had the opportunity to remember what he had long ago forgotten: Itachi was a monster long before Danzō got his hands on him. ItaSasu, Heavily implied underage NON-CON. Rated M for subject matter. Bad Things Happen Bingo #1


**Summary: **_Sasuke has returned to the past and he wishes he never had the opportunity to remember what he had long ago forgotten: Itachi was a monster long before Danzō got his hands on him._

**warnings**:_ incest, non-con, severely underaged sasuke!, vomiting_

**so the warnings are NOT a joke and i encourage you to look at them at least three times before reading the story. written for my Vomiting square in Bad Things Happen Bingo.**

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**the memories bring back, memories bring back you**

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Sasuke trembles, curled up tightly under his bed covers. There's crickets chirping outside, their sharp sounds mixing together with an owl's low call off in the distance. His bedroom window is closed and even though he feels so cold, he wishes it was open. He wishes the scent in the room would be swept away by a chilled wind. He wants to feel steady and warm, and not aching in the worst places.

There's no blood, because blood is suspicious. No, Sasuke is only left with a memory and a soreness focused on his lower back. His eyes feel raw, tear marks drying on his cheeks as he lays there, not moving. He vomited earlier, the acidic scent violating his nostrils and making him gag even though there's nothing left in his stomach. The scent was putrid and yet he had kept his head firmly against the porcelain toilet, scared that if he pulled away he would be assaulted once more with the violent need to vomit and that he would miss the bowl.

Sasuke doesn't remember a lot from his childhood. He has vague memories of being happy, and some rarer ones of being sad, but nothing ever indicated that he didn't have a regular childhood up to the clan massacre. When his clan was massacred, Konoha sent him to a therapist. He hadn't gone more than once, too angry and ashamed to see the pity in the doctor's gaze, but he does go back when he returns to the village. The other doctor is gone, either dead or retired, and the new doctor is younger and more friendly. She tells Sasuke that people who suffer from depression sometimes lose childhood memories. That his lifelong depression has messed with his memory just as much as Itachi's Tsukuyomi had all those years ago.

It makes him feel slightly better in a weird way. He had an explanation for why he continues to have blanks in his memories. He can remember what his parents looked like, can remember the local Uchiha bakery, but there are moments that he can't recollect. He knows he was close with Itachi, that he used to seek Itachi out after a nightmare, but he knows this because he found a journal his mother kept. He learns of his third birthday and how he clung to his older brother, not willing to play with any of the other kids invited to the party. He learns, but he doesn't remember.

When he wakes up one morning, surrounded by his childhood, he assumes that he's either dreaming or someone had managed to catch him in a rather powerful genjutsu. Once those options are proven wrong, Sasuke feels shaken by the idea that maybe, just maybe, he has found himself in the past. He looks at his small body, his still chubby cheeks and wide eyes, and he plans. He has the opportunity to change things, which he will, but he also has the chance to have the memories that were stolen from him. They won't be the same, how could they be, but he will at least have them. He will remember family dinners and quiet evenings sitting in his family's garden. He will remember his father's deep voice as he reluctantly sings along with his mother, a smile gracing her features as she stares adoringly at her husband. Sasuke gets the chance to remember things he had lost.

The room is dark and he can't get to sleep. His insomnia had traveled back in time with him and he tosses and turns, trying to get comfortable in a too soft bed in a too full clan compound. A creek outside of his room alerts him to an approaching figure and when his door is inched open, he is pleasantly surprised to see Itachi poking his head in to check on him.

"Aniki," Sasuke greets quietly. He is only six to those around him, not the twenty year old his mind is, so he makes sure to sound guilty, like he knows he shouldn't still be awake.

"Can't fall asleep?" Itachi responds softly, taking another step into the room. He shuts the door behind him, the lock clicking into place.

Sasuke shakes his head, yawning widely as his brother approaches the side of his bed. Sasuke feels vaguely thankful that Itachi locked the door; if their father checked in on Sasuke and saw Itachi comforting him he would voice his disappointment at Sasuke still needing something like comfort. For as much as Sasuke has missed Fugaku, being suddenly confronted with his gruff attitude has made him realize he didn't miss him as much as he thought he did.

Itachi climbs in next to Sasuke and he happily makes room for his brother, smiling softly at Itachi's illuminated face. The moon is bright tonight, an eerie glow falling into the room to give Sasuke just enough light to see Itachi's face. That means that he's just able to make it out when Itachi blinks and activates his Sharingan, staring into Sasuke's eyes.

Sasuke doesn't expect it, finds himself stiffening in surprise. He is caught in his brother's eyes, the snare tightening around him until he can no longer move. He wants to activate his own Sharingan, wants to disable the deal on the roof of his mouth that keeps his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and his Rinnegan hidden. Instead, he is frozen as Itachi looks down at him, red eyes narrowing.

Sasuke hadn't remembered much from his childhood. He had forgotten holidays and birthdays. He forgot late night visits from his precious older brother. He went on to forget the light skim of fingertips across his young limbs; the way Itachi's eyes ensnared him, forcing him to be docile and silent. He forgot searing pain and the shushing that would follow a forced whimper.

He forgot Itachi, satisfied and relaxed, lazily petting Sasuke as he shook apart in his arms.

Now, Sasuke remembers. He remembers loving his older brother while simultaneously being afraid of him. The dueling emotions of wanting Itachi's attention and praying that he never catches his eyes.

Sasuke has returned to the past and he wishes he never had the opportunity to remember what he had long ago forgotten: Itachi was a monster long before Danzō got his hands on him.

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**this was dark and i apologize lol title is from the maroon 5 song _memories_**


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